I also found some other stuff
The Halo Graphic Novel has four short stories in it and a lot of extra art (the Brute image from the previous entry is from it). For the most part, they're all terrible and actually are REALLY good examples of how the Halo canon is so inconsistent among different media.
The first story, The Last Voyage of the Infinite Succor, is actually a well-written story. My only complaint really here, which is likely the smallest of complaints, lies in the art. This story focuses on Rtas 'Vadumee, an Elite Ultra who players of Halo 2 will remember as "That alien with half his mouth missing". Among other things, it shows how he got this wound at the hands of The Flood. Rtas 'Vadumee, by the way, is a cool alien name. Unlike the Brutes, which all have Latin names. Which makes NO SENSE! Screw you, Tartarus. You were the worst final boss ever.
The Flood, parasitic creatures who take over host bodies and turn them into twisted, zombified abominations of their original form, are actually one of my favorite parts of the Halo Universe. The only issue with this story involving the Flood is... they don't LOOK like the Flood. The Flood have a certain putrid, decayed look to them with a sickening brown and yellow color scheme. That certain tint to the air in an area heavy with flood in any Halo game sends shivers down many a player's spine. These aliens, who are clearly supposed to be the flood, have a sick green and purple color scheme to them. They don't give off the same vibe as the flood. They don't FEEL like the flood. The feel like some other weird parasitic infectious race. This is not a minor quibble. Consistency is important in a large universe because each group has their own feel, their own aesthetic. It's like if Superman suddenly started running around in Orange and Black instead of Red, Blue and Yellow. It changes the feel and messes with the aesthetic.
The second story, Armor Testing, I have the most problems with. It's another Spartan II(besides John-117, The Master Chief) testing a new variant of the MJOLNIR armor they wear. It's well done, up until the end. The Spartan removes her helmet and HOLY SHIT IT'S A WOMAN! Which is fine. There were female Spartans. My favorite Spartan, Linda-058, is a female. As the name Linda would suggest. But my problem here is that she says the following. "I don't regret retiring to start a family."
Wrong. Wrong Wrong Wrong Wrong WRONG.
Every last Spartan was hand picked at age 5 for the program. They were trained rigorously, day in, day out. They underwent so many physical augmentations, including a massive list of musclemass enhancements, things with names as long as your arm, metal-bone coating. At age 13 they were physically the size of 18 year olds that had already been in the Marines. These are BIG people that have had their body chemistry fucked around with so much the notion that one of the females still having a period is laughable. That and their sex drive has been massively suppressed to the point of nonexistent due to pituitary gland implants. They have no sex drive. And even if they did, they are fighting a war for the survival of the whole of Humanity as a species. When you are raised from age 5 in a military background, the mere thought of leaving the military is insane. They have no basis for the outside world. Nothing but the UNSC. They have never lived a civilian life. They have no concept of it.
Coupled with their lack of a sex drive, this makes it insane to think any of the Spartans would EVER retire to start a family. And even then, it's crazy to think the female soldiers in a Supersoldier program would be able to have kids. No one wants a soldier with the strength of ten super-strong marines in a suit of powered armor to be PMS-ing on the battlefield. And all the steroids, growth hormones and physical modifications were administered at age 12 or so. The female spartans have likely NEVER had a period ever. Also, consider the following. The musclemass enhancements make them incredibly strong. A single, weak punch from one of them could SHATTER your bones to powder. They have insane strength. Imagine having SEX with one of them. Have you ever read Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex? It'd be a lot like that. Potentially much more horrifying, because the woman in this case would be the super strong one.
Even if she, say, adopted (and married some random guy with whom she could never have sex and probably never even desire sex), hugging her kids would kill them. And that still leaves the big hole of "leaving the military in the middle of the greatest struggle humanity has ever known" coupled with a military childhood. It simply doesn't make any fucking SENSE. It's stupid. They should have used one of the other living Spartans for this comic, like Linda for one. Whoever this Maria-062 chick is clearly fails at logic of this universe. Or hell, they could've used Anton-044. He was still around after the Battle of Reach, right?. He was awesome.
Although I think if they implied that Linda had kids, I might have shot someone.
The third story, Breaking Quarantine, is by Japanese artist Tsutomu Nihei (he gets named because he is clearly the best one of this book) and shows Sgt. Avery Johnson escaping the Flood during the events of the level 343 Guilty Spark in the original Halo. It has no words, besides sound effects in Japanese. I assume he didn't speak English. This one is awesome and there is absolutely nothing wrong with it. I wish he did the entire book.
The fourth story, Second Sunrise over New Mombasa, I don't feel I should comment on. It's a civilian aspect of the Halo universe, during the Covenant invasion of Earth, near the beginning of the events of Halo 2. As such, it is radically different from the rest of Halo. The art is... interesting. Bright, colorful, cartoony. I don't feel it's bad, just not my cup of tea. It fills me with much less rage than Armor Testing.
I am also aware of Halo: Uprising, a comic series printed by Marvel and written by Brian Michael Bendis. I saw this in a store on Thursday. I looked at it. It looked at me. I put it down and said "No." We won't be hearing about that again.
Something that occurs to me. Excluding the art pages in the back, there are no Brutes in this book. That makes me smile.
No comments:
Post a Comment